Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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