it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
