I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
