before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
