Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
this will be a night to untag.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
