why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
