Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
