Someone shit on the floor
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
