We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
