Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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