Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
