When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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