I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
