You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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