What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
