Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
