Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Randomize
