belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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