she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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