I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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