I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Is it because I queefed?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
