Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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