He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
