this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
