wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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