after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Randomize