Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
