i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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