he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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