Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
