Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
