You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
