My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
