How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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