end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
no you cant smoke seaweed
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
