I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
