Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
