1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
