bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize