the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
