Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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