My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
