My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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