Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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