is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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