his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
tell me about the eggs
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
