My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
