Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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