honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
