I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
