I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
